This Blog post from last year that never got posted…  Since writing this post in December 2022, life has carried on some parts good, some parts bad…  but mostly good. I don’t even really know why I would still post this over a year later, except that it is a record of a chunk of time.

Here it is now, almost the end of March 2024, and time is whizzing by.

Do you feel like we’ve really lost the last 4 years?  I do!  So here it is, the blog post that was written in December 2022..

Well…. It’s been a minute since I’ve been here.

I feel a real mix of emotions as I try to write this, pick up the pieces, and rebuild my life. In order to go forward, I must first go back.

The last time I was here posting a blog, was on August 19, 2020.  This was 5 months after the COVID lockdowns had begun in Alberta.  It was also 11 days before my sweet Mother passed from Lung Cancer. 

I feel like these 2 events had a greater effect on me than I had realized at the time.  I’ve had bouts of depression, feelings of overwhelm and daily stressors.  I know I’m not different than anyone else and I’m not saying this as an excuse, but more as an explanation (even just admitting it to myself).

That said, I have done my best to hold it together for my kiddos, but what I haven’t done very good at is taking care of me!  Over the course of the last 4 plus years, I have been struggling A LOT.  I’ve really been embarrassed to share any of that with you.

Handwriting text Self Care. Conceptual photo practice of taking action preserve or improve ones own health Blank White Huge Oval Shape Sticker and Megaphone Shouting with Volume Icon

The area of my life that I really struggle with is taking care of me.  Doing things that light me up, and bring me joy.  On the daily, I spend time pouring love and energy into my family….  and I love my family.  The problem is that I don’t spend that time and energy doing the same for myself…. then I get frustrated with everything (including my kiddos) and sink deeper into my stress, and overwhelm and even depression.  It’s a vicious cycle.

The most shameful and distressing part of me not taking care of myself is the fact the over the past 4+ years, I have put my health back at risk and gained all of the weight that I had lost in 2015-2016.

I turned to the comfort of stress eating to get me through the sadness and depression of losing my mom.  She was my best friend, and life without her even now 4 years later is hard somedays.

The anxiety of a never ending cycle of kids home due to sniffles, coughs and runny noses was exhausting.  I don’t remember exactly, but early on in the pandemic when we had to do COVID tests every time  there was a symptom, the kids and I had something in the neighborhood of 100 COVID tests, all of them with negative results.  Through all of that I was grateful that nobody in my house got it until March of 2022, and all cases were manageable.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a complete introvert and so many parts of the pandemic were easy for me to manage.  Like staying home, like moving to online meetings and less expectations for going into crowds etc.  The problem was it made it very easy for me to not worry about how much weight I was gaining…

Fast forward to now.  Life is good (or I feel like it should be), and I try daily to be grateful… It’s hard.  I feel like I’m lost.  I feel like I have no motivation, and I feel like I need that to change.

In November of 2022, I knew that I needed to start taking care of my health.  I felt like my blood sugars were way out of control.  I went for a blood test and sure enough my blood sugar (A1c) was elevated to 13 ish mmol/L.  The normal is between 5-8 mmol/L.  My doctor put me on Metformin immediately and told me I needed to get my eating under control.  He said I have faith in you Heather, you’ve done it before, and you can do it again.

I need to start doing things for me, and I need for things to start changing in my life.  Firstly, I need to start taking care of my health.. Secondly, I need to take time to intentionally start doing things in my life for me, that I enjoy.  I have been exploring different things that I really am interested in, and I will share more about that in future updates.

One of the things that I really missed is being here.  Writing, being accountable, and hopefully being able to share my story and create a community that are going through the same struggles to support each other.

So I am back, I am going to be posting fresh new content, and hopefully you will following along and share my journey with me again.

Much Love,

Heather

It seems the older I am, the harder time I am having.

I’m starting to feel like a broken record about this but,  I am still REALLY struggling with getting back into ketosis and getting this extra weight off.

I use to think that women in their 50’s and in menopause were just making up another lame excuse  and that losing weight couldn’t be that much harder for them. (not that should ever point fingers at excuse making lol I wrote the book on that).

I’m debating whether it is because of my age or because of the fact that I quit smoking in January but it seems like eating a healthy keto diet is just NOT having the same result as it did back in 2015 when I did it the first time.

To be Honest….

I’m getting REALLY PISSED OFF AT MYSELF!!

Continue reading →

Okay so here’s me being TOTALLY honest and transparent about sending my kids back to school in September during this COVID crisis and global pandemic.

Parents: Does sending your Kids Back to School this fall feel like an Ethical Dilemma?

On one hand you NEED them gone and in school for THEIR learning, but also for YOUR sanity.  On the other hand you need to keep your family and loved ones safe and at home.

I have kids ranging in grades and abilities from preschool up to grade 7.  Because of that,  I have different concerns around the levels and abilities of each of my kids. Continue reading →

Making Summer Fun for my Kids (and not all about scary pandemics, prejudices, and global problems).

So far, 2020 has been completely INSANE!

In 5 or 10 years from now, as adults, looking back on 2020 we will probably think: “WOW that was one crazy messed up year!  I am so glad that we got through it, and that we_____________ (fill in the blank)“.

But what do we want our kids and grand-kids to remember about 2020?

Continue reading →

Truth is – I don’t really care what the correct terminology is. I DID IT!   Am I a non smoker, an ex smoker, or smoke free person?  As of July 11, I am 6 months without a cigarette.

I quit my 38 year long addiction to cigarettes.  I started smoking when I was just 12 years old.  Back then (in the early 80’s) it was the “cool” thing to do.  All of my friends were smokers.  My high school actually had a “smoking section” as part of the cafeteria called the smokeroom.  Can you believe that?

I have a 12 year old daughter – I can’t even IMAGINE her with a cigarette in her hand.  I drive along and see young kids (babies really) still smoking around the schools and area hang outs.  It makes me so sad. I wish they knew how hard it is to quit – maybe they would never start.

But here’s the rub… Continue reading →