What does it mean to be a Midlife Woman, Am I in Crisis?

 

For a long time (several years now), I have felt like I am NOTHING like a typical middle aged women.

Isn’t middle aged suppose to be your “jet setting” years.  When you become an Empty Nester, and you (or you and your significant other if you have one) have more time, money and freedom?  When you are able to finally do all of those things that you’ve always dreamed of?

I often see this with many women posting on their social media about this trip, or that adventure.  With all of the kids off to college, women are taking up a new hobby or achieving all of these fun life adventures of what “Midlife” is suppose to be.

But I also see many many posts on social media (myself included) of midlife women struggling.  Women wondering what’s next, women searching to find a new happiness at this stage of the game.

For a long long time, I’ve felt like I was very Atypical of what a Midlife Woman is, and I’ve really been feeling alone in my struggle.  But maybe, I’m actually more typical than I thought!

What Being a Midlife Mom is for me.

 

All through my 20’s, 30’s and 40’s, I was fiercely independent.

I never got married, never had biological children of my own,  I put all of my time and energy into my career path (Okay I’ll say it, I was a complete workaholic).  When I switched gears, left the corporate world and started fostering in my late twenties – all of my focus went to my children (who had/have special needs.)

I’ve always been interested in continuing to learn and grow even when it was difficult for me to connect with people outside of my home due to my sons medical needs.  That is what started me in my interest for online learning.  I love it and will always continue my journey of growth and learning.

The years kept rolling by…   Some kids stayed (these are who I truly think of as my children), others come and go.  Through it all, each child holds a special place and memories in my heart.

All of a sudden, I am 49 years old, I still have toddlers in my home and I am at the tail end of Midlife, thinking this ISN’T where I am suppose to be!  Top that off with a few bad financial choices along the way and now I’m a Midlife Mom without much savings and fewer options to move forward!

I still feel like I have to be HUSTLE mode.  The thing is – I like hustle mode and don’t think I will ever just stop.  I still love being online, I enjoy blogging, I LOVE learning and growing, I enjoy always looking for a great side venture that will give me the extra savings I am seeking for retirement.  I LOVE having the ability to be be available for my mom and for my family, and my most favorite thing in the world is being Amma to my amazing grandson Diederik.

My life is NOT BAD….  and many days I feel like I shouldn’t  complain or be looking for more — I am actually NOT complaining, I am grateful for all that I have, but I am searching for something that is not yet fulfilling me.

My problem is finding joy and fun in the HUSTLE and making sure that I am “hustling” for what I want to move ME forward, instead of what I just feel obligated to do.  Some days, I feel like I’m HUSTLING to merely survive, and that’s the the part I’m not okay with..

A lot of my focus has been on finding joy and fun in the DAILIES.

Are you a Midlife Mom?  Do you struggle with some of the same things?  I would love to hear from other midlife woman who are going through the same types of things.  It really helps when we do not feel alone, and when we can connect with other like minded women.  We are all very strong, very intelligent and we can do this (even when we think we can not!)

In fact, I created a community on Facebook so that we can connect and share pieces of joy along our journey (and maybe even vent some frustration and sadness as well).  The group is called Daily Shine:  Journey of Joy, and I would absolutely love it if you would come and connect with us there.

What is Midlife SUPPOSE to Look like For Women in 2019?

 

That’s a damn good question, isn’t it?

Well, according to an article on Oprah.com entitled “The New Midlife Crisis”, we (Generation X) don’t have a lot to look forward to and almost half of women feel like they do not have enough money.  The majority of us feel like we aren’t where we thought we’d be and don’t know where we are heading.

We are NOT alone, with the way that I’m feeling.

I do not want to say Midlife is suppose to suck, but I’m pretty sure that many of us feel like it does.  Top that off with perimenopause (which is a whole other discussion for another day) and no wonder midlife women everywhere are saying WTF is going on here!!!

I no longer believe that Midlife in today’s culture is a time of jet setting and enjoying a quiet house where the children have left for college/marriage/life.

I think so many more midlife women are still raising families, still grinding it out at work, and still trying to make it through the Dailies while trying to save a bit for retirement.

I think we have to adjust the way we are thinking, and realize that THIS is The New Norm.  We need to adjust and move with it and start looking at finding JOY in this journey.  And finding a way to get like minded middle age women together to celebrate the journey!!

Do I still want to have toddlers in my home when I reach the age of 59?

Nope not at all!  But I’m not sure even at age 59 that I will be taking off on long extended vacations in the warm sun.  So instead my focus is on finding things that make me happy and bring me joy in the now.

I do really think we are strong women, and we need to band together.  Come join us in the group, and let’s look to finding some joy together!

 

Talk soon,

 

 

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